Reality sets in

not that i don't like reality. why is it when you are on holiday or vacation you are ok, like you run around all day and not get too tired til ya sit down. but when you get back to work it's like, "OMFG i can't stay awake" and i'm only part way through my day. the next day back i was like beat, and i was just working. i guess it's sitting all day versus running around. i get tired after running around but that's a good thing. i miss the peaceful countryside my god! beats hearing the beer can open before 10am and thereon the rest of the day and deal with an ass bugging me. i am sooooooo unmotivated today. it's rainy. everyone's home. man if i could drive all day i would. well not drive all day but just explore. shit. shitshitshit. i have so much too doo and don't wanna do it. i am slowly, but it's too slow. i know i gotta hunker down and do it (i'm tryin to psych myself up here LOL). so what have you all got planned for today>? sucks feeling lonely too. that's how i'm feeling. i don't know why. i have people in the house but i'm just feelin lonely. *deep sigh* gotta post stuff on ebay, need to photograph that shit. damn i need a list. i figure if i just throw everything out and start over then i won't have so much to do eh? hehe. i'm also fasting today so i'm a bit cranky without food. ah well this too shall pass. i wonder if the only time i will feel at peace is if i'm dead and cremated.....