Things I've learned today

life is simple.

or so i was told. so i guess that means i just make it difficult. i suppose that's a woman thing. i know i create my own suffering. why i do not know.

i cannot do one lousy pull up.

that's really sad. how can i even work on that in my exercising if i can't do one?!?! well i could at least do 2 or 3 pushups when i first started out. now it's in the teens. but how am i to even get a rep if i can't do one flippin reP???? *sigh*

we all have choices. it's never wrong to make the right choice.

SO granted i know the difference between the usual right and wrong shit. but i went hiking today to clear my head. or rather think. i am getting too anxious and it's effecting me. so i took a 3+hike today and thank goodness i made it before the rain. so i asked whoever i ask for some motivation, direction, patience (cause i've run out) and clarity. then i went running through all the things i need to do, what i'm leaving behind, what i'm going to, etc. then i'm like what do i need versus what do i want. yea a lot of shit weighs on my mind eh? and then i would stop periodically to just watch and listen because i finally went on the last trail at sweetwater. i've done all the others but this is the longest so i figured i'd need more time, they say 3 hours but i'll be damned i finished it in 1 1/2. and so i hadn't seen the scenery etc. so i'm listening to the water lookin at the trees, watching out for wildlife. unfortunately only thing i saw was a dead turtle bein eat up by maggots. ick. until i came across this guy on a rock. i don't know what possessed him to tell me most of his story but he did. he was there reminiscing about his ex-wife cause that's where he proposed blah blah. then i'm thinkin he's gonna stay while i move on my trail. but no he decides to go too. at first i was like hmmmmm. not that i minded but ya know i'm out there on the trail alone, but usually the red trail is busy so i was ok. we had a nice conversation actually. so before we get to the parking lot the conversation goes something like:

him: o well guess i will be gone never to be seen again

me: o sure you will, we are all going to be seen, maybe not heard but someone will see ya

him: *laughing* well it's not like i come down this way often

me: well ya never know....

and at this point i'm like hmmmm is this where i give him my # or something>>? not that i didn't think about it but i'm moving in a month or so, he lives another county up, and i am not sure i wanted to even deal since he was going on and on about the x, but he was actually a smart guy. so i'm thinkin, is that his subtle way of saying he might have wanted to see/talk again? not that i'm clueless in that department but i'm not an assertive or aggressive woman when it comes to men so unless they lay it out or are direct, i tend to shy away from doing that stuff. so when he asked if he could drive me to my truck i said i'd hike and that it was nice talking to him (he said it first) and that was it. i made a choice but then of course i get home and wonder. he wasn't that bad, good company on the mile hike back, and like the rest of the men i've gone out with skinny as a rail LOL. but i figure i'm leaving......right