I’m Themeless (to the tune of “I’m Shameless”)

That’s how I am I suppose. Themeless not shameless. I had been struggling towards the end of the semester at my previous college with coming up with some type of body of work in photography. I had done this before too on and off while studying photography but not so much as lately. I had class yesterday and in the building, which looks like a warehouse by the way, they have somewhat of a ‘gallery’. They hang artwork up on the outside inner walls of the first floor. I love looking at others’ work so I browsed before class. The photos of course in my opinion were great. The photographer is an MFA candidate in photography and I suppose they have to put up some kind of work for this, I don’t know. But anyway, her body of work is called “Past Presence”. Along that line she has images of the old mixed in with the new, some people photography, etc. It is a really nice body of work and comes together nicely. So I’m thinking ‘I really need to get my ass in gear and DO something like this’. And then I get in a funk. Because I don’t know why I can’t get my ass in gear. Maybe I’m just lazy. I don’t know. It’s about that time of year for more inner reflection (barf), which I do on my birthday. Not that it helps much haha! Although I have been more involved in examining myself more throughout the year, not just on my birthdays anymore. I guess it has to do with getting older. I just feel almost lost lately. I mean I am glad I am finishing up my schooling, since it has taken me so damn long. It is weird to go from working full time to going to classes full time but I’m adjusting. I then look ahead and wonder if I will be starting from the bottom again. I try not to think about it, because it saddens me to think I would have to start at minimum wage crap again. I’m sure it wouldn’t happen like that, but I tend to think of extremes. In organizing my stuff here lately, I realize I just have a lot of ‘unfinished work’. I have photographs that either need to be scrapped, scanned, enlarged, used, framed, or put away and I haven’t done much with them. I have books that I have not read, yet am reluctant to throw away. Trust me I’ve gotten rid of a lot so I’ve paired down haha! I’m sure I could get rid of more but I just can’t part with ones I haven’t read yet. I see that I’ve been wasteful. I’ve accumulated things I do not need, do not use or do not want any longer. Is this a mid-life thing? Perhaps, but if more people took a look at themselves more often, they would not be so selfish. Not saying I’m selfless, as I can be pretty selfish, although I try not to. It’s not easy changing a lifelong habit. I am happier in one aspect in that I enjoy getting up to go to class where as I dreaded getting up to go to work, at least at the dealership. The last job I really enjoyed. The traffic here is nowhere near as bad as the Atlanta area, where it could take me practically an hour to drive 7 miles, whereas here it takes me 20 minutes or less. There’s hardly any gridlock here. If I can get a hold of a bike I can probably park and drive around downtown which would be better than walking down some of these streets. I still tend to stay home but am only a little more productive than before. There isn’t that ‘dark cloud’ that was keeping me in a funk at my folks’ house. I am hesitant to do the “school activities” but I will have to venture there and see. I’m just not a very social person. I think it’s funny because if you go by the zodiac, a Libra is supposed to be a social butterfly. And I am so NOT. Doubt that will change much, but I will work on that too.

I just don't feel like doing one damn thing today. I had class (which is what the previous paragraph is from) and now I just want to sit here LOL

Actually tomorrow I'm getting the truck looked at and I was going to head to Atlanta but gas just went up so guess I'm not. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Just in a funk for some reason. I have so much shit to do, as you can see from above, but I simply don't want to do it. Hey I'm only ten minutes away from the beach. Maybe I wil bike it when I get one. Just that there is only one way in and one way out and these drivers are ridiculous. Lot of out of towners down there, can tell by the driving haha! Would be nicer if I had someone to go with. TRYING to get my best friend down here but good grief she is a worryhound or something. Just can't get it together.

I guess I have to work myself up to getting another box unloaded. Shit I hate taking up space between what's got to go back to my folks' house to what I can actually keep. I realized that in the last few days I just began throwing stuff away. And in my haste I threw away some good magazines. Granted I didn't miss the other magazines but I had a subscription to Aperture which is a great periodical for my profession. Especially if I want to perhaps be included in there one day. I notice that male photographers far outweigh female ones and I want to increase the number by one if I can. But anyway, I realize I may have tossed a few of those magazines and I'm irritated. They hold some great information as well as great work from others who I like to view. And now I'm a little ticked at myself for being so rash LOL.

Ah well I guess I'll stop whining

Survivor is on tonite. I better have picked a good fantasy team! I'm SO glad I got to see the season opener of LOST last night wooooohoooooooo