Scary stuff

testing out my self-timer. too dark??? that's the idea LOL

i'm watching "Message in a Bottle". every damn time brings tears to my eyes. i just love this movie. haven't finished the book though. just seems to me that when you do find complete happiness somethin tragic happens. well it wasn't mortally tragic in my case, but tragic enough. of course finding a man is the last thing on my mind.

now that one stress is somewhat alleviated, i have others burning at the back of my head. racking up this loan money, will i get a decent part time job if this other one doesn't come through, can i afford cable/internet/electricity, what will happen after i graduate, will i work in my field, will i EVER make a 'good' salary, etc, etc, etc.

i know ineed to concentrate on the right now. like getting into this place and finishing this quarter. it's been stressful and i won't rest until this quarter is over. then i have a plan on hopefully making the rest of this school term more manageable.

i wanted to do so many things when i got down here and haven't done nearly what i wanted with the drama. work out, change some personal habits, get more involved in photography and the college. i feel i haven't been able to breathe since i started classes.

now that i have my own place i will feel a little more alone, but then again i have never lived alone before, always had roommates. i am excited yet hesitant. i am grown up and all but this is new to me, in some ways i don't feel grown up. hard to explain, but i'll cut this short as i would like to get out and enjoy the beach (i'm at hilton head SC right now, not at my place, have a friend in town so we are toodling around this weekend)