I Didn't Cop Out

I swear. In having all this anxiety over going to some strangers house to meet people I don't know that belong to an adventure club, I forgot this was my weekend to work.

Ok I lied.

Well lied by omission.

I DO have to work this weekend, but actually I could have gone to that meet and greet today since I only worked until 2pm and the meeting was at 4. But I just couldn't do it. I need to ease into this. It sounds stupid even to me, but that IS me. Uncomfortable around a group of strangers. *Sigh*. I am not athletic, so I don't know how to kayak, or canoeing, or mountain climbing. They are going white water rafting and I don't know how to do that either. I don't want to go one because I don't have $100 to spare yet. But another thing, I don't know what the skill level is for these people. Is it ok to be a beginner? Do I have to know how to do everything? I may try to email the guy who sends out the newsletter, but I don't know if he gets a zillion emails, so I may just wait. They do go hiking which I can do well, so I may wait until the next hike outing, then join in slowly, get to talking to a few people first before I jump in doing something I have no clue about. It sounds silly, but I can't force myself to plunge in right yet. I know. Hush......

*Sobbing lightly* I had to tear down my tomato plant. Not the entire thing, but from the last major storm we had it bent my plant almost in half, almost snapping it. I had blooms, plenty of the suckers, but no tomatos. THe blooms died right after. But there are two new parts of the plant sprouting so I cut the other part off to give more juice so to speak to the other two plants. I WILL have tomatoes! It will just happen later.

My place is a wreck. LIke I said earlier I've been disappointed with myself and I've reached a point where I am working on it. I'm not happy with my appearance, my slacking in photography and getting into shows etc., I'm needing to get rid of some things I just don't need/use/want anymore so it's all piling up. So, I'll be working on ALL that more heartily. CHange doesn't happen unless you truly want it (I was able to quit smoking cold so I know I CAN do it). I like all the books I have (Clancy, Hamilton, my photo books) but I am not using them. I'm trying to simplify my life. It's a lot harder than it sounds, really. I have too much kitchen shit. I used to collect those stupid plastic ginormous cups that you would get for soft drinks with stupid shit on them. They are ALL gone. I also tend to hang on to coffee mugs. BUT they gotta go. Now I am keeping my Cats one, Mystere, my Mickey Mouse one hehe, but these Christmas ones and flowery shit has to go.

I've also GOT to clean and wash this truck off/out!!

o0o0o made some delish dishes too I might add. Gazpacho, Chicken with Wine Sauce (and I hate mushrooms but they are palatable cooked with chicken broth), Broccoli with Crouton topping. Man I must say I'm gettin good.