Is there something that you remember vividly?
That you look back in the archives of your brain, and it is something that makes you smile, even if it happened so long ago, yet when you think about it, it was like yesterday? Something that in some way, had an impact on you, and out of all the shit that has happened, this something stands out the most?
I do. I have a couple actually. Granted I have quite a few things that stand out because they are bad things that happened to me. But as far as good things go, they are very few and very far between. But they are the best.
One is of my best friend falling down. Yea I know that really shouldn't be a good thing, but it is. It was funny as hell to and let me tell you she's got one on me, which if I had been one inch further back, I would have busted my head open andprobably died. Who knows.
But that's not my 'good' thing I was thinking about. Actually now I'm laughing because it's so damn funny to remember that.
An-eeeee-way, it is from my trip out to Utah. When I went on that survival "adventure". Not only do I wish I could do that again (they added a Slickrock Gathering and you can learn to tan hide, hunt and trap, how to identify and use medicinal plants, among other things, but I have no idea if I'll ever go again due to $$) but it just seems like it was so far away. Plus how calm I felt. No cars, no phones, no city streets with people screaming or trying to steal something or just getting on your nerves. And you were outside. And the air was fresh, or as fresh as it was going to be. Granted I would have no clue how to find my way around, but it was just peaceful. And my most vivid memory is getting up when the sun came up, because you slept out in the open (well I was under a tree with the spiders hehe), but you had nothing over your head to keep the sun out. So when it came up you basically got up. And to hear the guides call, and calling back (two of us felt weird about making some sort of howl but shit I did that with my ex on his property so what was the big deal with strangers, plus it let everyone know where each other was). But the one day before anyone called out to see if we were awake. I went for a walk, I think to take a piss, and I saw the one guide at the top of the ridge. Just sitting there facing the sun as it was coming up. Of course at first I was freaking out because when you are on the ridge you can see for miles, so I was like "shit, did he see me takin a piss>" Too late to think about that one right? But anyway just looking up and seeing the peaceful look on his face made me happy. I barely knew this man, and yet, he felt at ease with himself and nature.
Being outside, or far away from all the "technological" noises (for lack of words), just you and the sun. Getting ready to start another day. It was amazing.
Of course here I have to worry about money. How I am going to eat and drink. Will I be able to finish my research papers. Should I buy a new TV or new this or that? I know the answer to those questions should be no.
I do live at the beach but not sure how long I will be here. And the funny thing is I go up there but not as often as I guess I would if I wasn't living here? If that makes sense? Plus I don't really go to relax although you can't help it being by the ocean, but I do my walks/runs over there, so I'm not just "sitting relaxing". I think I need to do that more. Especially since I don't know how long I will be here.
I do wonder how everyone is doing after that trip. I know the two guides are still working. At least I think so. I wish I could go every year, like some of the people that I met there do. Guess that's for the people with disposable incomes.....
Time to "yoga" hehe
Actually now that I'm doing that, as well as pilates, I can tell the difference. If I miss a few days, I am not as flexible as before. Not that I'm great at flexibility right now but it certainly does improve the more I do. Now if I can just get my fat ass out there and run more. The sick thing is......I was actually thinking of smoking again thinking that might allow me to lose weight faster! I know I'm a nut!! But for some reason I have been adding weight of late, and I have not been eating as much (I know I know, my body will store anything I eat if I am not eating enough so it has enough to use, but my goodness I've got enough stored for the winter!)
1 comment:
I remember a lot of things vividly, but like you, the good times tend to be less.
I remember being hit by a truck and thinking, "god he's going to hit me!" I remember the first hit of the mirror to my jaw and then I remember nothing else till I woke up on the ground tasting my own blood. I remember the pain, the cold wetness of my clothes soaked in blood and realizing I couldn't get up by myself. I remember the odd calmness that overwhelmed me, that thinking if I died at this point, it would be ok. It was at that point I had my most vivid recollection of the good times. You really do take stock in your life when you think you're going to die. All the fun times I had stored in my brain somewhere, came popping to the surface: My best friend, my first love, my Father, watching my first sunrise at the beach, falling asleep by firelight, hiking at Boulder field, playing in the mudholes at the Pinnacle and being completely encrusted in warm, slippery mud, laying on a quarry ridge watching the stars and talking with him all night - I could go on and on. It's those memories we will always hold onto -the good with the bad.
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