The Fly

Anyway, I'm not talking about Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

I'm not talking about the local barfly.

I'm talking about this freaking buzzing house fly that would not die.



It of course didn't show up until I went to bed. THen of course it hung out in my room because my bedroom light was the only one that was on.

At first I didn't know what the hell this buzzing was. It actually was quite loud, but dampened. I thought it was my vibrator. I really thought I somehow left it on and the battery was dying. So it was doing the "bzzzzzzzz" pause for a few seconds "bzzzzzzzzz". I ripped away the sheets but nope my little bullet wasn't on. So then I poise myself (no not over my vibrator) but to listen again. bzzzzzzzzzzz.

Damn now my place isn't that big. I don't have much square footage. I then began to think it was the frig. Like I don't need the frig to go out. But I stand there and listen and nope it's not it.

DAMN where is it coming from.

Then I go back to my room, thinking maybe it's downstairs or outside. Christ I couldn't sleep because it kept bzzzzzzz'ing consistently. And it's already 1am. Nice. Well I lay in my bed to read and here I see this huge fly coming right at me. Like right between my eyes. Then it swerves at the last minute on a course for my lamp. Well my magazine went airborne. Crap missed. So here I am waving around this magazine frantically trying to reach this damn fly. It's a slow fly. But damn he's evasive. The fucker. When he does make it out from the lamp he flies away. SHIT. Back and forth we go.

I give up. The fucker is good.

So I decide to sleep under the covers. Turn the light out. Bzzzzzz. I suppose it lands on the sheet since I hear it quite loudly. FUCKER.

I look like an idiot flailing about ruining my magazine trying to kill this sucker.

So I just tuck myself under the covers and let it buzz around me til o 3am!

FuCKER.

I realize I don't hear it in the morning (sleep? Did I even get any>?). But I know it's here. I hope it found a place to die cause I'm not playing this game tonite. I feel like it's one of these flies.

Yet I can't kill it.

Maybe I shouldn't.
I'm exhausted.

FUCKER.