Funny how....

....the maturity of people, well ok MEN, around my age differ immensely. i guess i have been thinking about this lately because a few people have popped up in my life for the umpteenth time, also my best friend was to have a date with a supposed-man this past friday, and because i met a few men who are still boys. ok well maybe all men are boys, but it just seems like the maturity range of these *boys* is so immense it's mindboggling. at least to me. well the one man i met, he is 32. but he talks non-stop, lives in a basement somewhere *this to me screams serial killer but my instincts are usually right and he's not one*, and he has just overall an immaturity about him, like he's emotionally not grown up. it's hard to explain. he's an artist, but he just seems very immature. i don't know how to explain it you'd have to see him or talk to him. i think he might want to be more than friends, just by some comments he's made and the touchiness that he tries to do. most of the time i'm moving so he can't get too close haha! not that i wouldn't want him to mind you, but he's just kind of childlike in his ways. since i don';t know him well i try to be on my best behaviour, but i realize this about myself: when i find someone that has qualities that i have overcome, for instance very low self-esteem, which i still wouldn't say i have great self-esteem but i used to think i was a very horrible person and not worthy of anything, or if someone is not confident or has just other issues, i tend to get in there and just twist and twist, i guess i try to harden them up. why i do this i don't know. i know that when i used to smoke pot, not very often mind you, this was after my very first boyfriend's family broke up with me *VERY LONG STORY* that there were three of us who would smoke on occasion. and when we got together and smoked of course it was all about munchies and laughing our butts off. but the one girl with us had no self-esteem whatsoever, didn't take too much to take care of herself, was average looking but didn't make herself look better wore raggedy clothes and had a bad opinion of herself. well when i got to smoking, i would just tear into her. to me of course it was funny but not to her. one time i made her cry. it was funny of course in my pot-induced state but then when my other friend told me i couldn't come over and smoke if i didn't behave that kind of made me realize i better bite my tongue. anyhow with this guy i have occasionally already been strategically nasty. the funny thing is, they seem to like it. if i'm nice to men i get shit on. but when i'm kinda mean or standoffish, either they go away or they come back for more. not saying that i'm mean because i really am not a mean person to men i don't think. i know i am selfish and apparently insensitive *least that is what i got from the ex* but i'm not really mean. least not openly. anyhow, this other man who has come back into my life, i don't know what to think of him. he is 40 and yet just doesn't act his age. not that he acts too youngish, but sometimes it's annoying, like grow up dude. now apparently before me, he dates women in their 20s, so i am a totally different woman for him, according to him. i am a woman he can actually TALK to, which is interesting. and all his friends, who are in their 40s are married or most of them anyway, to someone in their 20s, so i said to him they must be on their second marriages. he's like *surprised* well how did you know? hmm. ok. anyhow, after cancelling a date we were to have because of a *hangover*, he's calling again. i guess i should be flattered that he can actually *talk* to me, just makes me wonder what those other women talk about. getting their hair or nails done?? the cost of a new outfit?? hmm, i don't know. i don't really remember what i talked about when i was in my 20s, but then again i think i was beyond my age at that time anyway. but it's just funny how when i look at these men and their chronological age and their mental age, and compare them to others of the same age. i have a male friend, i consider him my best male friend, like i have a best friend of the female version ya know? anyway, he is 40 or maybe 41 now, can't remember exactly but he is well, mature. o he's fun but in a different sort of way. not childish. not at all. it just seems that the childishness isn't fun anymore on a man, when they get past a certain age. not that i don';t act my age all the time, but i don't think i carry on like a child. well except when around my niece but then i don't think i'm really THAT childish. i don't even know if this makes sense. i can't really pinpoint what makes men childish other than the way they behave. anyway i've not included where i know these men in case someone i know reads this and figures out who i am talking about haha!

anyway, i am at my wonderful niece's babysitting her this weekend while her mother is off to an American Heart Association ball with the anchorman from a Savannah news station. he's kinda cute but let me tell you TV makes people look fat and tall, because this guy is slim and shorter than he appears on tv. too funny. and now that she is out of the bathtub she's bugging me haha! but she's a doll if anyone has seen her. and she just LOVES me, her worst nightmare is what i say when i call her up haha! she likes to imitate me too. which can be dangerous LOL. she has hiking boots like me. she has a bandana that she wears on her head when i do. and i've taught her to not be afraid of snakes, since i have two, and bugs. well she is sort of scared of bugs cause of her momma but oh well !

hope everyone's weekend is a good one!