Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

hehehe i love that! anyhoodles, to answer a few Q's:

A) NO i wasn't high when i wrote my last blog, just sick lol and like i said i tend to write stream of consciousness style which is just off the top of my head and i tend to change subjects alot.

B) someone asked about how the man i was referring to was immature--both examples i guess wouldn't really qualify. i think it's more his mental age. he doesn't poke fun at my boobs and i don't know if he wears cartoon pj's, but he is childish in his mannerisms, maybe like a late teen ager i guess, not like a child of 8 or something. it's hard to explain so i won't right now

C) CHEERI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I didn't know you read blogs i'm so glad you do!! where's yours??? write more!! miss ya babe!

Well i think i've recovered from my illness. i really hate beign sick, not that anyone likes it i'm sure, but i tend to get extremely depressed when ill. and with me being on a better path to health i would THINK i wouldn't get sick. least it didn't last for weeks like last time. i'm not 100% but i'm getting there.

i did get my test results from my doc today, or rather the college doc, since i don't have insurance and cancelled my appointments with my regular doc. i have a thyroid condition which i won't bore you with but my cholesterol dropped 50 points WOOWEE YIPPEEKAI-YAY-AYE! for me that's awesome because over a year ago it was 260. last week it was 216. proven fact that exercise works wonders on your body. my good cholesterol is EXCELLENT she said. and good cholesterol is affected by exercise. and now i just gotta keep it up LOL. the other stuff is through diet. which i must say is really hard. any habit is hard to change, but i believe if you TRULY want it you will make the change. might be slow going but you'll make it. that's how i quit smoking . but i've tried quitting before and did for a while and something would always send me back to buy a pack of smokes because i refuse to drown my problems in alcohol *long story*. but after actually changing my lifestyle--which has gone from partying, drinking, smoking, darts, billiards, sex etc you get the picture, to mainly becoming a hermit and not going out really to clubs but more for working out etc---that i was able to quit smoking. because in actuality i was a social smoker. i really only smoked when i drank or was in clubs. except one year i smoked a lot. ew gives me a nasty taste in my mouth just thinking about it. so anyhoo, what was my point? o yea change. if ya really want it, and i don't mean just think about it and say you want it. you actually have to sacrifice something and make more than just a feeble effort to change it. listen i gave up fast food LOL that was a hardship. why i don't know i just like burger king. but i found out sausage is the worst thing you can eat healthwise so i stopped. now granted i do have some now and then, but grabbing a sausage biscuit every day for breakfast is no longer an option. ya know, when i'm in my 40s, 50s, 60s etc if i live that long for one, i'd like to be mobile, i would like to not have to start complaining about my aches, my pains, my bladder problem, my bowel movement problem, or whatever else may arise at that age. granted your body will break down, but i want to do everything i can in my power to let it break down a lot more slowly than usual. somewhere it is said you lose a pound of muscle a year, if i am correct, of course someone please correct me if i'm wrong. well that's why i lift weights. i want to have as much muscle as i can. i want to be that 50 year old woman who still looks damn good in a skirt and heels, hopefully, and be able to run that marathon if i ever get to feeling like i want to. i still want people to say that i look 10 years younger than i actually am *hehe someone told me that the other day and i was like wow THANKS*. you only have one body. i hear that * your body is a temple* and believe it. of course maybe it's too late for some things as i started on my *crusade* or whatever you want to call it when i turned 30. but it's better late than never. i have a good chance of being in excellent shape if i keep it up. granted i have to work harder because your metabolism slows down more, but this is waht i want. and i don't want a nice body for someone else, i don't want to look good in a bikini for any man. i want to be healthy for me.

sheesh ok enough of that. i'm sure y'all sick of it. but i do have a point. whether anyone wants to admit it or not. so i tend not to agree with those people that say *it's genetic* or *i'm big boned* or *i can't help myself* cause we all have a choice. in anything we do there is a choice, and we may not like those choices but all the same, there is something to choose from. and i'm choosing to live healthy!! well it does make it better when you see the numbers change. i actually found myself working out more when i measured myself. yes measured just about everything from my arms to my boobs to my god-awful thighs. and when i saw the numbers go down, granted it was a small amount, 1/4 of an inch or whatever, it was still going DOWN. that is tangible to me.

omg there i go again. anyhow i do need to get off here. i'm due at a job interview in the AM, i'm trying not to fret about it, and it's a huge pay cut, but hey it's something right? and i need my beauty sleep. trust me on this one. and i have critique at school. and damn i just have so much shit to do before i move i don't know where to start.

as for valentine's day y'all, in case you are curious. i don't believe much in it, because i believe if you have someone special you shouldn't have someone tell you what day you need to appreciate them or whatnot. but since it IS such a big hoodie-hoo for this world, i did send out two. i got a nice thank you on one and not a damn thing on the other one until prompted. see if i do that again. and i got one from a true friend. he's such a great person. if we had met earlier in life.......but i'm glad to know him now. i don't look for *gifts*. what's most important to me is time. and affection. and just being there. *sigh* hard to explain i guess. i'm not a normal woman. LOL

i just can't wait til St. Patty's Day. get to give/receive BEADS! gotta love the kilt man i'm tellin. if ya haven't gone to Savannah for St. Patty's Day. oh man gotta go once. i think there's a video of me floating around somewhere........

TTFN