Is It Me

or are people just ignorant. disrespectful. self-centered and self-absorbed.

hell i know i am to an extent. well i'm only ignorant if i don't take the time to learn. i have been disrespectful to people, usually as a reaction. i don't think about who i should disrespect and then make a plan to do it. i am self-centered. i have no one to take care of except my dog and my snakes and my cat. well my cat is cared for now by my parents. i have no kids. i have no spouse or significant other or any other for that matter now. my friends are either married or out of the state. no one really needs me. hmmm. that's a whole other line of thought. but i want people to bend to my ways, my desires, and when they don't i get pissy. but not all the time. because i am striving for as little stress as possible. so what others do i TRY not to let it get under my skin. but lately (and that's because miss FLO decides to visit) i see people as being totally self-absorbed, not caring what their actions can do, not caring that there is someone else who might be inconvenienced because THEY have to have or do something at that moment.

i used to get road rage really bad. flipping people off, blowing the horn endlessly, screaming like a banshee inside my vehicle with my windows up (then down in the summer). i am sure i came across as some psychotic mad woman. then the rear view mirror fell off. well i would still carry on like that to people who cut me off, and tried to get in front of me, but to anyone riding my ass or wanting to go faster or wanting to get around me, i was clueless because i couldn't look in the mirror and see them. let me tell you that was a relief. not that i'm felt to be pushed by someone who is riding my ass to go faster. hell that actually makes me slow down. and it cracked me up to see the men especially get all pissy in the mirror. i'd wave then. kill them with kindness is that how the saying goes? or i'd throw kisses. ha, take that!

but now that i have a truck, my vehicle has more weight to stop, so i can't ride someone's ass anymore and anticipate them braking without probably ending up hitting them. and of course it would be my fault. even though the asshole cut me off and didn't put on his turn signal and then brakes when he's halfway in my lane because there is no where to go. but it'd be my fault. riding too close they say. pffft. i'll show ya riding too closely. or i like the one's that don't even turn their heads when changing lanes or turning. that will get you killed. you need to take a driving class again. because they teach that shit. how can you see if you don't turn your head? mirrors have blind spots. the excuse "well i didn't see him" won't work with cops, you damn well didn't see him cause you WEREN"T LOOKING! like when they flap their lips on their cell phone and swerve into your lane, then decide well they are there might as well get over, meanwhile my front end is in line with your rear quarter panel, but HEY DON"T MIND ME I'M JUST DRIVING HERE. Or i love the people who read a fucking book. i'm sorry. if you are in a vehicle with that much weight, you should be driving. nothing else. not fucking putting on your makeup, shaving your face or armpits, or reading the newspaper or a book. hell and get off the phone. and stop looking in the backseat for something while driving 50 miles down the road. WTF is it with people. i'm sorry but i don't want to get killed, and i certainly don't want to be responsible for getting someone else killed. but i guess people think that with all this metal between them and the next car, nothing will happen. i've seen SUVs wrecked. they are not very safe vehicles. people think they can go faster in a bigger car. um ever hear of the bigger they are the harder they fall? well same goes for cars. i guess they think they are invincible. anyhow, i think i was saying that because i have a truck now, i don't feel the need to be an ass on the road. o i still can be, especially if you act like one on the road, weaving in and out because the speed limit is 45 and you want to do 75 but there are cars in front of you. OMG well then drive at 3AM asshole. i ain't letting your ass pass. but most times i do. hell go have your accident near someone else. it's inconvenient having to take the time out and do the "accident stuff". well that's if no one got killed. but i guess people don't care to announce they want to change lanes. because you've seen these kind of people who when someone puts a turn signal on, they start to speed up. WTF is that? ok. i HAVE done that, but rarely. and it's usually because i went around grandma and now she wants to get in front of me again. o no, i'm going around. i don't see what the difference is if someone happens to get in front of you. they are already ahead of you. WTF is the deal? but having the truck, i can usually worm my way in. hell no you aren't speeding up because i want to get over. then people get pissy when you don't use a turn signal. like me. i just hate that. usually. why? because it's just plain rude. or if someone is cruising down the road, they see you coming, can't they tell you are going at a good clip? yet they decide to wait until you are right on them to pull out. i suppose they have a death wish. that's the only thing i can think of. i am usually not in a hurry anymore. i will get there when i get there. so what if i have to wait for one more car? and then when they've pulled onto the road, the CRAWL. um hello? do you see my grill filling your entire rear view mirror? they have the nerve to get all pissy when i blow the horn. well man put horns and turn signals on vehicles for a reason. truckers arent' supposed to blow their horns unless it's a dire emergency. (i used to love doing the arm motion of yankin on the horn train when i was younger to the truckers) hell i still do it sometimes, and hell sometimes they just blow it without any provocation, well except maybe seeing a hot chic driving down the road in a tank top windows down in a truck hehe. anyhow, people are just rude. no other term i can think of.

there is no excuse for ignorance. laziness, ok i can see. hell i'm guilty of that. but i refuse to be ignorant. hell, ask my sister. if i am wrong on something, i will go find out the truth, i will verify if, i will research it. why? i guess because i don't like to be wrong. but i also like information, knowledge. it is a very good weapon. i've tried being the "dumb blonde" or the "ignorance is bliss" crap. just doesn't work. i have too many functional brain cells for that. plus, i would rather get screwed with my legs spread than up the ass by some con. i was amazed at what people didnt' know when they came in to buy a car where i used to work, then blame the salespeople for their problems and ignorance (well i DON"T like salespeople either, but it's not all their fault). that's another story. the one i'm talking about now is the one where the guy got mauled by his former pet chimpanzee. if you don't know the story, to make it extremely short, this couple who had raised a chimp for years and years had to let it go to a sanctuary because it was becoming aggressive (no shit REALLY it's a fucking wild animal) and would visit it on occasion. it was grouped with two other male chimps and on the last visit, they somehow unlocked their cage (hello they are fucking smarter than a 4 year old and a lot of people i've met) and proceeded to maul the man, take off his foot, injure his face, hands and tore off one testicle and severely damaged another. someone wanted to sue the sanctuary but they aren't going to. obviously people give too much human characteristics to animals and think this should never have happened. well it did, BECAUSE THEY ARE ANIMALS. you make faces and stuff behind someone in a cage for a long time and see what happens when they get out. but anyway actually i'm appalled at the media and whoever else who called chimpanzees monkeys. yes i'm being a stickler here. but not really. there's a big difference. this is why a lot of people are just stupid in school and out. i hear kids at zoos calling chimps and gorillas monkeys. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING MONKEYS!!!! THEY ARE APES!!!!!!!! BIG DIFFERENCE!!! THAT'S LIKE CALLING A DOLPHIN A FISH!!!!!!!! i have made a point to tell my niece about animals, nature, etc. because i don't want her to be afraid of it and i want her to know things for what they really are. the more you know the less you will fear. so at 4 years old my niece knew the difference between monkeys and apes. and i was soooo proud of her. cause you know they get that attitude when some dumb boy tells them something wrong and she puts her hand on her hip and said "no it's not a monkey, it's an ape". i'm sure she wanted to add "you stupid boy" but didn't know what it meant haha. i'm sorry, but those news folks and even the couple's attorney, looked like idiots. i had half a mind to write into the tv show and news, but i haven't. almost. maybe i'll write it in the paper, an editorial. oh well. just thought i'd vent. there really is no excuse for being ignorant. there are so many places you can find the right information. hell even wrong information. but being lazy and stupid is not becoming to anyone. trust me i'm not the sharpest tool in the lot, but i'm willing to learn something, and can take it if i'm wrong about something. hell, my niece thinks i know EVERYthing so i HAVE to measure up to that! LOL god she will be so disappointed when she finds out i really don't. hope that's not real soon!

the dalai lama says to have compassion for others. ya know, i'm just having a difficult time with that. i'm selfish. half the time if i'm giving, i want something in return. i can't help it. it's gotten better. but giving something to someone who treats people like shit, regardless if it's an object, service, support, help, whatever, is just hard for me to do. and then there's that whole trust issue. if you give someone something that's fragile, like your heart or your body or your trust, you run the risk of that person just taking advantage. not that i don't give. it's just not easy for me in some cases. if you are a good friend, man i'll give you whatever you want. just ask. usually i need some prompting. well for some things not all LOL.

not to change the subject but i'm reading the 20 best walking cities or whatever, and atlanta is #6 on the 200,000 to 500,000 population, and let me just tell you that's bullshit LOL. savannah is #58 on the under 200,000, and let me tell you that's a much better walking city. well compared to atlanta.

bewitching hour......