Spiders on the attack

it has to be one of them that bit me. because there isn't anything else that could have reached my stomach. and i went hiking yesterday but wore a tank top that was tucked in my jeans. so it has to be the spider. since i tear down his house on a daily basis. not chiggers. not skeeters. not ants. not sure but if it doesn't go away i'll freak out as per usual LOL

i'm exhausted. been hiking for several days and that tends to wear me out til i get used to it. hopefully i won't get freakin shin splints again.

i had some stuff i typed this mornin but didn't email it from work so this is what you're getting which isn't much.

i was talking to someone earlier today about men and women in general and we were wondering why they try to impress people by being someone else or trying to deceive people, for whatever gain. i am not sure why people have to pretend they are something they are not. ya know when your self talks to you and says "hey YOU, somethin doesn't sound right with this". and it usually isn't. guess that's why i'm single. i won't trust shit,. so either that is why i'm single or i just really can't believe that a person can be totally true. at least to me. maybe i'm at a loss. but i've loved before. so i know i do it. i wonder if they are just lacking something. cause to fuck around with people's head takes a lot of time so they must have time to spare. i don't. it's better in person to tell if someone is being deceptive, harder online or via email/personals crap. that was my earlier thoughts were on, personals but i'll put it in later. it's at work lol.

so i've had a few comments to my previous post on the guy i met hiking. i agree with all, well minus Y's LOL, but it is funny because at 25 i probabaly would have just gone and given out my number, but not now. weird huh/? well not weird but just funny in a non-comedic sort of way. i mean look at the shit you all did back then, late teens early 20s. now i must say i was unfortunately always the responsible one so may be i didn't have so much fun, i feel like i did to a point, because i always looked after everyone else, made sure they had fun, stayed out of trouble yaddayadda. i didn't take risks at all. i do now, but i'm not extremely risky. i guess i don't take too many but i wouldn't take ANY risks back then. well i did do some things without thinking, but now it's like "what was i thinking?!?!?!" going off with men i didn't know (always with a group tho), hopping pools, breakin into places. etc. etc. i guess with growing up that wisdom crap comes in, plus experience. i mean back then, i was thinking about what could or would have happened to me with the strangers we metn LOL. nowadays i'm like, as in the case at the park with that man, i thought similar to sherri and ruu, OMG what if he's a serial killer/stalker. but then i'm like, well you know those guys usually stalk their prey for days weeks maybe months (o boy i watch those shows too much LOL) so if he was well i doubt he'd talk to me right off. of course ya never know. that's when i believe instinct kicks in though. of course most of us don't listen to that do we? noooooooooo or we would have left when we saw the signs he was cheating on us, or we would not have done soething we shouldn't have, or chosen that path or whatnot. or said something we shouldn't have. yadda yadda. so do i regret not giving my #? not really, i have second thoughts, cause ya know i don't have to answer the phone, but i figure i'm leaving. no sense in starting something i can't finish or will be reluctant to if something came of it. but it was a nice conversation. ya know you go to places and don't really talk to people nowadays. hell i barely know my neighbors. i donj't belong to clubs, i don't have a large group of friends, i don't troll bars and nighclubs, so i'm stuck with the chance encounter. i suppose i could have taken the horns and just made a comment about seeing each other again, but i didn't but i enjoyed the day, and what came of it for what it was. some poeple don't even fuckin look at ya on a trail. WTF is up with that? i mean really it's not like there are 4 lanes of trail on either side and ya can't see the other person comin at ya. people are so self-absorbed nowadays, i find myself that way too, hence the *clutter removal* both materiallistically (is that a word>? LOL) and emotionally/mentally. that mental shit though is the hardest. oy....