Walking with the Dolphins

Ok, well not LITERALLY, but that's what I thought of as I took my power walk on the beach between storms this morning. I so need to do that more often. Why is it I just quit the excuses of time and just fucking go out there? Yea I'm lazy I know. ACtually I'm conserving energy, hehe. But seriously, as I embark for the 5 millionth time on an exercise plan and healthier diet, I wonder why I just don't make the time. Once I get out there I am so good. It's just GETTING out there that's the problem. I know it's a problem with others. Anyway, as I was walking for my hour, looking out at the ocean (I really wanted to have the camera but the intermittent raindrops prevented me from bringing it, for I'm SURE that there would have been an all-out downpour if I did have it), I saw the dolphins breaching the water. And they were moving in the same direction I was. So.....I likened it to walking "WITH" the dolphins. LIke they were walking, or rather swimming, with me. It gave me a good feeling. I love nature. I don't spend enough time in it. Or rather, enjoying it. I've decided to make more of an effort. To get out more. Especially since I am here at the beach and once my tour of duty at this college is over, I don't know where I will end up. I have been toying with the Peace Corps idea. I know. What the F am I thinking. Actually I think I'm in a midlife thingy. I know my best friend is. We had an almost 3 hour discussion about it. She is also still perturbed that I am not there with her. And honestly, not that I don't want to be much much closer to my bestest friend in the whole wide world, but there is a whole wide world out there and I want to see it, live in it. Or at least the whole wide United STates. She just doesn't want to move. She's afraid of every damn thing, not like spiders or whatnot, I mean afraid the world is going to come to an end. I'm surprised she hasn't keeled over yet from a heart attack. I'm surprised she even comes outside. Anyhow, she thinks I'm going to return to Balmer (that's Baltimore, Maryland in Baltimorese) when I'm finished my education stint. At first I was gung ho about it, but now, as time keeps on, I'm not so sure.

I miss having her to do things with. Whether it's sitting in front of the tube and silently watching it while screaming out profanities now and then, or whether we go out to the zoo with the kids, or go out to The Zu (a club) and being the tallest women in the place dancing (no it's not a place where dwarves hang out, we just happen to be tall women and in that area of Maryland the people are quite short, even the men, must be the water), or whether we just sit and talk on the porch with our 'adult beverages', I miss that. Because I don't have anyone here to do that with. I have a seriously hard time making friends, becuase I don't make "acquaintenances". I don't do small talk well. I don't like the catty shit women do. I don't like the sorority type shit. I actually don't like large groups. I like intimate groups or even just one on one (yea an orgy is pretty much out haha!). So, I miss my best friend. I do want to be closer. But I want HER To move closer to me!! Actually not really, not yet. Depends on where I end up from here. But since I have been in Georgia, I have made all the trips up north and I"m tired of it. So, she is supposedly coming down here. This year. We shall see. She won't fly or get on a ship or boat, and I'm surprised she's going to drive down here, but she might take the train, which she will still be anxious about, but it's much better for her than flying. Yes, she has issues, like you wouldn't believe, but I won't go there. THis post would never end.


Actually I wouldn't mind living where I have the mountains and the ocean not too far from me in both directions. But I doubt I can afford it. I miss the mountains now that I'm here on the coast. It's a four hour drive instead of one where I was. But then again I bitched because it was a four hour drive to the beach. But I think I'm more of a mountain person. I think I was influenced a little by all the glamour and shit about getting tan, wearing next to nothing, having loads of fun. But I don't tan, I don't like a lot of people, and well I like to wear next to nothing but I'm not happy about it sometimes, but because I get hot so easily I don't like having a ton of clothes on.

I wouldn't mind looking at this every morning or night. Or living out here.