Success?

What is it? Well ok I know what it IS, but by who's definition should be believe that we have found success? Because at least for me, success is not how many 'toys' I have, not what most expensive item I have, not how big of a house I will buy (although one day I would like to buy one, or rather a condo, seeing as it is more practical for me). SUccess to me is not how much money I make. Although making money is a bonus, well ok rather a necessity and I do hope in time I will at least make enough to make a living. But what if I don't? Well, I will have to adjust/deal. It would be so nice to have disposable income. It really would. And of late I have been wishing I had more money, for things that I desire. THen I had to take a step back. Becuase I simply don't have the money. And yet I am falling for this "BUY BUY BUY" mentality. Or at least the mentality that I have to have pretty/expensive/useless things. Granted it would be nice to have someone support me, to a point. But I don't want to depend on someone. I want to make my own money. But with the way things seem to go for me, I won't make a lot. Granted I may not even get any job/career remotely related to this degree I'm seeking. But to me, at this point, success for me is to complete my education. Hell if it was in basketweaving I would still be happy when I got that piece of paper saying "I DID IT".

Success for me is also about being happy in what I do. I realize that most people who are happy, no I mean TRULY happy, TRULY excited about being/going to work EVERY day, seeing the people, doing the work, are the people who don't seem to make a lot of money. THe ones that I have come across anyway. I met a man who made almost $200,000, but he didn't strike me as truly happy. He was seeking something else, and the things he bought temporarily fixed that emptiness. He had a ni-i-i-ce Harley. He even had it in the shop to get it tricked out even more, which was costing a lot of money. He took trips a lot. He was adding on to his house. But he still wasn't truly happy. Granted he wanted to make even more money. More power to him. Sure it would be nice to have that kind of money in my pocket, but I also want to enjoy what I do. Granted I don't want to work for low wages, but if that's what it will take to keep me happy, well, so be it. I hope to graduate to at least another tax bracket. Granted I haven't been working full time for a while now, and it is quite nice not having to go to work five days a week for over 40 hours, but I realize that I may have to get back into that routine. I just hope I like, no LOVE what I'm doing. Becuase I have come across many many people, including myself, who do not like what they do. Or where they are working. Or something about it.

For me, success will be being able to use some of what I learn from school, in the field. I don't want to make millions of dollars. I just want to earn a living. If that means I'm still in the poor bracket, although they don't make it easy for you to be here, trust me, then so be it.

I'm tired. I am not sure why so I went to the doctor's. Well the 'clinic'. It's free, so I have to deal with waiting forever and a day, and not great service. At least they did come up with some other places where I can get things checked for free. I am fairskinned so I try to watch any 'moles' and stuff on my arms and back for any changes that could mean cancer. I mean I try to wear sunscreen etc. but the damage was done way back when. Now if I can get discounted dental care....although, I'm afraid what that would be. I do know I have low blood pressure. They actually told me to eat MORE sodium in my diet! And here I have been getting the low sodium version of V8 among other things. I just don't want to have issues like my parents.

I better get to my reading. I am going to try hard to keep up with my schoolwork and NOT be such a procrastinator! I'm getting too old to stay up til all hours of the night!!