It's ME Time

aaaaaaaahhhh. I can breathe easier, now that the quarter is over. Although I'm beginning to get these little worryworts trying to creep around my brain cells. I see them in there flitting around like mother fuckin sand gnats (um, if you don't know what they are they are TINY as shit and just get all up in your nose and in your mouth even though it's closed and they hover in swarms and just irritating in the summer here in Savannah). The girl that was living with me for a month or more has not found a job in her field (not that I dont' like her, but I'm glad I got her out when I did, because doesn't look like she's moving anywhere anytime soon, like she said she was going to, and hasn't gotten her own place to live here still......if I didn't have her go I'm sure she'd still be here, um no thanks). She graduated with an Animation degree, and mind you most of us are going into specialty professions, highly competitive yet highly lucrative. But those are the key terms, specifically COMPETITIVE.

Now people keep telling me, and I also believe, that one should pursue what they love or at least like a lot in a career. Because I have been privy to seeing many a miserable person in a job (corporate, retail, sales, computer, health field, etc.) that they really ended up hating. And it showed. They really were miserable people. And I don't want to be that way anymore. Not that I was all that miserable. But I wasn't totally happy. I guess to be that way I am going to be poor. And if I can just keep myself afloat, with shelter, food (which I could use a little less), water, and warmth in the winter and coolness in the summer, I think it will be ok. I just think that I am not going to be one of those that barely makes it out of the $30,000 some odd bracket (well I actually haven't yet, sad yes). I don't want to be a superstar. I don't want to be god (doctor or nurse). I don't want to sell my dying grandfather oceanfront property in Sahara Estates. I don't want to be a part of upper management that sits there all day in five meetings out of eight hours doing absolutely nothing besides projecting the future and then telling someone else to do something. I like to be the one "doing" something. And the people usually "doing" are the ones making less money. Granted I don't want to "do" fast food or Walmart (not knockin it but I look to those jobs as more along the lines of getting started in the career world and winding down your career world).

Sure I may not even get a job within my field. And that's ok too. As long as I get a decent one, where I can apply most of the skills. I know tons of people who aren't even working remotely in the field of study they chose to graduate in. For various reasons. Sure I could switch to graphic design, or even interior design or architectural design which for some reason are hot topics this past quarter at my college. Really quite irritating when looking for jobs at the Magnet and they are mostly in those two categories. Weird. But each quarter they change. I also wanted to look into Visual Effects and Film. But damn talk about even more competition. I just don't compete well, at least not for that type of think. I'm more the silent competitor. Guess I won't go too far in the world. *Shrugs*. Hell I don't really compete for anything unless it's trivia or gambling. Never competed for a man (hell if she wants him go fuckin for it, I'm not chasin after some dude, usually they come back and tell me what a bitch she was haha).

Anyhow, those are my gnats that are trying to mess around with me brain celliage. I've shooed them away for now. But they still get to nagging every now and then. Will work out more. Or at least try to get a routine going for the next three weeks that I can try to stick to while workin on the next quarter. *Sigh* Yea that hasn't worked too well in the past. Only thing I can do is try.

I found out I have to actually "apply" for the off-campus Australia program and do a damn SOP. Well my purpose in attending is because basically I don't know if I'll go there in my lifetime otherwise. Not sure if that would pass as a statement of purpose. Maybe I should include my age. I just hope to god there is ONE class I can remotely consider for my degree. Because I'm sure they base acceptance on relativity to major. I might just put in apps to both Australia and Japan, see which one I get haha. I have to do it before the deadling of October something. Well I'm going to have it done when or before classes begin. Like my financial aid, when I REALLY do want something, I will be early and stay on top of it. I just hope I can get even more financial aid (joy). NOt loving THAT debt that's behind me. Ah well. Only live once right?

I will be applying for a scholarship so maybe just maybe I have a remote chance at that. Won't know til I try. Man asking for money is a bitch. Haven't gotten any of it yet, but I keep pluggin away at those essays. Then again I'm not much into the "leadership" thing. I don't volunteer anymore. I don't do any philanthropic shit. I make a living. That's basically what I do. I don't have mom and dad to support me, give me money, shove me into sports and other activities. Then again I'm not that young. I don't belong to church. I don't and never did any of that crap on scholarship application forms. I just want to make sure I can live independently. Guess I should have done that shit when I was a teen, but I didn't. I wanted to work. And I did.

Oh well. I am sure I am digressing here. Finally cleaned up the kitchen. Haven't heard from the teach about my paper. I did go all the way to downtown to pay BACK the school for their overpayment only to be told that my fall loans came in so they deducted it from there (um hell-FUCKIN-lo I asked if they could do that in the first place and was told it was better if I just paid it. THey could have at LEAST had the courtesy to tell me not to bother coming down. Fucktards.) I did calculate that if I do get a Zero on that paper I will end up with a C. I have a good B in that class. I hate getting a C. Makes my GPA drop. I ALMOST have a 3.5. Grrr me and my million classes I have under my belt.......some of them of course not very good grades lol.

O and yes I am a dork. I admit it. "My name is.......and I'm a dorkaholic."

Why?

I have a neopet.......