Who sat down......

and decided that aluminum was a good armpit destinker? Why not brass or titanium?

What makes Listerine and its equivalents get your mouth a-burnin? Or is my mouth the only one that burns when I swish?

Why do people get caught up in having the biggest, best, most recent videogame platform or cellphone? I cannot imagine what people would do if there was a global blackout that lasted for weeks......

As I prepare to get all my shit together to get myself moved, I wonder about taking things up that I used to do pre-college. Such as tai qi

TO recap, I was practicing the Chen style form of tai qi (there is a link or there was on this page, haven't checked to see if it still worked). I would rather take this style as it is the original from whence all the other tai qi styles have come, and for me that's important. Tai qi is not just a form of exercise, or relaxation, or whatever others categorize it as, but it is also a martial art, a form of defense. Which is important to me as well as I don't think I want to start karate or judo or some other form of martial art at my age. I could but I'd feel weird for one thing.

Anyway I digress. SUpposed to be a recap. I had gotten involved with my instructor on an intimate level and decided that was an unwise move. Oh I continued practice, but the dynamic was different. I actually would rather practice with the tension that was between us than to fulfill the desires that we had. It was much more exciting trust me. He has since married and I of course moved. Getting intimate wasn't really the problem, but his deceitfulness was. I totally dislike, hate if you will, being lied to, being deceived, or even have omission of information (which is a lie albeit a passive one, maybe?). Along with my desire being snuffed out, my eyes opened and I realized he would lie to the class about just stupid little things as well as more important ones. Even to the individuals he would tell different versions of one story. Maybe that is just him but I just couldn't stand it.

He has called since I've been here, wondering about my return, if it's the same number to stay in touch, yadda yadda. I have emailed him but he has not returned them in the beginning. I had called once or twice a year or so ago. But his most recent calls were somewhat weird. He left a message on a Friday, saying that I was some kind of wild and crazy sex bunny or whatever (I didn't save it but it was something along those lines) and that he was out of a meeting and wanted to know if I wanted to get together for dinner. One, I am still in Savannah. So I began to wonder if he was in this area. He hadn't said he was. So then I got another call on Saturday, wanting to get together some point over the weekend. Now I can't be sure he even meant to call me, but he did use my name, so I'm going to assume he wanted to call and meet with me. I did not call back.

I am thinking of just showing up to a class, because i do not want to speak with him one on one yet. I want to see how, if, he has changed any. WHy? I don't really know. After our encounter I had no desire to maintain or even consider any further personal encounters. There are various reasons for that I won't share here. I am open minded, but he is more of a sharing type of person. Which if he was not my instructor I may have delved into his world, but actually the Tai Qi practice is more important to me.

So, I have been thinking about it lately because I would like to start up the practice again, yet I'm hesitant. I haven't spoken to him in under 2 years. I haven't practiced in the same amount of time. I cannot find the same style practice in my area. The closest is 45 minutes or more away and iffy if that. I tried before. One guy was practicing out of his home and there were only 2 students. Needless to say I didn't stay long.


It's hard to put what I am feeling down here in a coherent way for anyone to comprehend. I guess the only thing to do is just delve into it all head on. Go ahead and just attend one of the classes. See how I feel. Then go from there.