Bitch Session

Maybe I'll change my blog to that title. Because that's all I seem to really want to do when I blog. When I'm having good times I don't really feel like blogging. I do and I don't if that makes sense. That's what I used to do as a kid. Although as a kid I wrote in my journals A LOT because I was always depressed. Not sure if the writing helped. I found those old journals and I'm like "wow". I put them back in the box to be moved yet again. I guess I should have thrown them out. I mean why should I keep all that old stuff? Not sure yet.

Why do people use their OUTSIDE voice in the library? And talk on the cell phone IN the library WITH that OUTSIDE voice?

I have steadily gained weight over my two years here. I have gained 10 pounds since March of 2006 (so says my doctor's office notes). I am SO unhappy about that. I know exactly how I got that way. Now getting out of it is another thing. I WANT to, but that underlying desire to do so, it's not there yet. I'm not sure why. Because I don't like how I let myself go. Oh I'm not obese by any means. But I've added more fat than muscle. My knees make noise when I do attempt to jog or do my squats, and that bugs me.

What makes others have that incessant drive to get up and exercise every day> Why don't I have it? The guy downstairs is quite active when he is here. He's always biking or running or surfing or something when he is home. I know he was in the military and now is a pilot. but what is it that keeps him going? I know working out gives you more energy and helps your sleep/mood etc. But I am for some reason not motivated like I used to be. I used to get up at 5:30 in the morning to workout. I've lost it somewhere between my last full time job and school. Guess I got my freshman 15? Although I'm a graduate now and older and that certainly is no excuse. I have begun working with this Yoga Booty BAllet DVD. I actually have stuck with it but need to do more I know. I am not as active as I used to be and it's killing me. I like this set of DVDs because it doesn't over work me. Sure I can slow down on other workouts but I feel the need to keep up. And then I pay for it the next day and then don't want to workout anymore. But with Yoga Booty Ballet, I don't get so sore. Just a little where I know I worked out, and it doesn't discourage me from doing it again a couple of days later.

I notice now I have more friends here in SAvannah than back home. That kind of bugs me. I just hope with the winter (I get more depressed in the winter time) and moving into G-man's I won't get too depressed. His house is dark, but it's warm. I am going to miss the light that comes into the place I'm living now. It's nice and bright.

I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs last night but damned if I didn't have the sauce.

I have almost 200 books up for sale. HOly crap. I so don't want to move them. I wonder who I should donate them to.......

I am SO irritated with my boss at work. I mean come ON. I'll TRY to be brief but there is so much to say on THAT subject. In short, I've asked for TWO MONTHS how to reach the field rep in the area I"m moving to so I can make a (smooth) transfer to another hospital. He gives me last week an email that is WRONG! "Oh she's busy but I"ll see if she's gotten your email." First of all, EVERY MOTHERFUCKING PERSON IN THIS WORLD is BUSY !!! If bosses are too busy to take care of their people they need to go. Seriously. But ASSMUNCH I TOLD YOU SHE'S NOT GETTING MY EMAIL BECAUSE I GET THE FAILED DELIVERY WHEN I SENT THE TWO EMAILS TO HER SO NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE DIDN'T GET IT! Oh but when the asshole needs something I'm to do it right away? Yea dream on mister. So I figure maybe I'm just not meant to move on over there. I didn't want to work there forever, but wanted to have some income until I got a full time job.

Oh and speaking of work.........we converted to a new system on Friday. The camera hasn't been working right since. THe printers have been fucking up too. But do the other photographers call tech support when it's not working for them????? NOOOOO!! Guess who has to do it??????????!

THAT"S RIGHT MEEEEEEEEE! Oh and tech support has no record there were problems before. ARe you fucking kidding me! Well I reamed out my boss. I am SO TIRED of working on these problems. I feel I have to because I don't want to leave them for someone else. well guess what. I am NOT fixing it anymore. Someone else can. If I can't take pictures well guess someone else will have to call and fix it. I am not the lead person anyway. She needs to do it. Oh my boss "appreciates that i'm working on this". Oh really? DO you REALLY appreciate this!!!!! He says all the right words to me, but I know he doesn't mean one of them. It's all a line to console me and "understand what I'm saying" which actually makes me madder because I know it's bullshit. I hate salesmen. I hate management. THAT"S why I won't get further in this world. And you know what? I'm ok with that. I would rather wallow in horse shit than people shit any day of the week.

I have to pee.

Til later.......