I have no desire to write a title

And really I have no desire to write in this blog.

All I can say is that I'm getting really frustrated with the job search. I send out resumes. I get nothing. I would start to say "What's wrong with me, or my resume?" but I do know it's not me. I'm qualified for an administrative asst job listed. But no one calls. Or I get spammed. I know I have to go about it differently. I'm not totally sending resumes out blindly, but it's tough to send them through the mail without the job being filled before mine even hits the desk. EVERYone wants an email of the resume.

Or people want to hire an admin asst, office mgr, for peanuts. I mean seriously. EIGHT dollars an hour for high end administrative work?????? They must find someone, because I know they don't even bother with me. Well if I see that kind of money I don't bother........maybe I should.

Then I spend like 15 minutes plus trying to write a good cover letter. I mean thoughtful, put some info about the company so they know I at least bothered to find out what they do and who they were. I try to find a name but a lot of times that's elusive.

Nothing.

I've applied to county positions.

Nothing.

All I get are the "thank you for your interest in blah blah blah, but we found somebody besides YOU."

My boyfriend FINALLY understands that it's not as easy as he believed (well because when HE was job hunting he got job offers left and right ------- TEN YEARS AGO!! And he's a mechanic!) I got job offers left and right back then too!!

I haven't really started to contact photo studios. I'm kind of afraid. I know I will get way more rejection than I"m getting now, but I'm rejected out. I guess I just don't want to do the cold calling bit. I'm so not good at it. And I don't know ANYone to really network. Now I did hook up with the alumni chapter here. But I went to one event and well, didn't meet a whole lot of people. I just find it extremely hard to walk up to someone and say "hi my name is so-and-so, who are you? I need a job." Well I wouldn't do it like that but you usually introduce yourself and the second question is almost ALWAYS "well what do you do?" Like your job is your life. I guess it is here in the US. I don't know. All I know, is I have found some studios I'd like to work for and haven't taken the step to call/write/email. I know I must do it now. I guess I have nothing to lose right? Besides my mind. I do want to make that career change, going from working as an administrative assistant to a photographer assistant, to eventually work into a studio manager job. I don't qualify for the manager job since I don't know how the studio works. So I am prepared to start at the bottom since I want to change fields, and I want the experience. But I am still applying for administrative work because that's what I did before I went back to school and i'm excellent at it. But it seems I may not have up to date skills. I so cannot go back to school because, I have no money. I guess I thought it would be a piece of cake to jump back into the work force and get a job like *snap* untiL I found my photo job. Yea.......wrong.

I've got tons of dollars in loans coming up. And I can't pay them. I can't even get a consolidation without a cosigner because I don't make enough money at this part time job. And that's not happening.


I revamped my resume and I really like it. But I don't think I stand out.




My address goes under the line. I guess I could have left it since I have been sending my resume out online and well I guess lots of people have my address and number now. I may take that off when I send it out........at least until I get an interview somewhere.

So then my resume goes in there, my name to the left and right of my logo. It looks nice put together. I don't use Illustrator much so I've got to merge my letterhead with my resume on computer, not just print it out on letterhead. Because I want to send it out in email on the letterhead. I guess I can do it in PDF format but most places I think want it in Word.

But I'm not sure what's NOT working for me. Well probably besides the method. I have applied for the railroad and one of the county's near me. I got rejected for one job at the county. Joy. No call. Didn't even bother to call for an interview. I did apply for Emergency Operator, which is what I started the process before I got accepted to school. Then did not finish it because I wanted to finish school. The only problem there is that I don't remember if I told them I was going to school and that I was not continuing with the application process. They do extensive background checks and I remember them saying if you can't make it and don't tell us, you won't be able to apply again. Now I don't know if there was a time frame. And then again I don't know if they said all that or I'm putting that in my head. THey didn't do a background check on me that I know of. Because they want to know everyone you've ever known so they can check you out. I do know I passed all the tests given. And now I have to go through them again (date entry/typing this Friday). Personality later. I'm hoping they lost my previous application. Or that living in that county is not a requirement. Because I want this job. Or to get into the railroad. And both are apparently long processes.

G says I should just go up there. To the places that are hiring. Just go in and take my resume. For some reason I don't feel comfortable doing that. Fearing that "no" in person I guess. Or that they would throw me out. I have a lot of irrational fears lately.

But I'm getting depressed. And trying to keep those negative thoughts about something being wrong with ME out of my head.

I'm just really bummed. And I don't want to be here right now. Or rather I want things to get better for me. The monkeys on my back are getting heavier and heavier. And I don't want the bills to pile up because then my shot at a decent life really goes downhill if my credit goes. OH and nothing to say what will happen if I don't pay the government back..........