Nothing in Particular

you know, i really do appreciate my ex. yea he's my ex and i'm sure some are like shaking their heads like WTF. i always believed one can maintain some sort of friendship after breaking up. needless to say, that for me has only happened in one, ok two, cases. ok three but i don't talk to two of them anymore. just for life reasons not because of anything else. well actually one i stopped talking to because he couldn't handle the friend thing. he still wanted me and that wasn't gonna happen even though he SAID he was ok with just being my friend. not. didn't work. but my friendship with my most recent ex i guess is still touch and go. seeing as neither of us have a companion in our life.....i guess it works. so i'm sure once he, or i, get another companion, i suppose the friendship ends. maybe i'm too what is the word for it.....idealistic? i have no clue my inventory of vocabulary words is fried at the moment what with these drawings. so perhaps we are only still friends due to mutual need. i don 't fucking know. i have thought about going back, but i always believed you can never go back, to anything, because it will not ever be the same. but with my current run of mayhem, trust me i've thought about it. he even asked me to go back, on a couple of occasions, the last time when i was visiting, said to just ditch college and i could stay there and do my thing. my thing right now is college, although i've been having doubts. i'm sticking it out though. i didn;t quit when i couldn't make a fire out of a bow drill and i'm not going to quit now....just have passing thoughts.

on another note. i suppose i will be getting back to boring posts. haha ok actually posts about my boring life. not that my life has been boring lately, but i read other blogs and gee they have either such a vivid imagination, an awesome sex life, or least that's what most seem to have on their minds, or technical shit which i can't sit and read let alone right about. i never was one to be popular. no different here in blogworld. not that i came on here to be popular, but it's nice to know there are visitors.

once things calm down, which i hope is after tomorrow, i'll probably be super introspective again. which is good but can be a curse. i tend to dwell on things and then by the time i get the umph to do something it's too late. go figure.

i really need these damn blackheads picked out. i wonder if i have enough money for a facial when i get back to the ATL. i also wanted a set of cowboy boots and a hat. that's all really. that's all i want at the moment. o some company but actually i think i'm working on that. there's a guy in the military (i SO can't get that magnet out of my ass, if no one knows i have a penchant for men in the military, and in most cases NOT on purpose) and he is due back at Hunter Army Airfield in a couple of weeks. who knows. least i'll have some stress release haha.

i am going to have to create some better business cards. advice given to me previously is to pass em out when i find someone i like but simply can't just throw my number at them. sensei is a wise woman. as for my phone service, i know the amoutn of money that the ones who offered advice on isn't much to them, but i'm not working, so i can't get an $80 plan with a zillion minutes. i did my research and with a minimal contract with my current provided i will get 1500 minutos WITH UNLIMITED NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS. my ass didn't realize i didn't have the unlimited plan attached to my 1K minutes, my fault, my mistake and WILL not occur again. and that is only $50. my service seems ok, i don't complain too much. everyone else has a 2 year committment and high plans. i don't have a family to plan with (my sister is on her man's) and i may get the local phone # since i suppose i need that with a DSL line, so i don't need a gazillion minutes. and my friends just have to stop talking to me for hours nad hours in one call haha. i love my friends i do, i just don't have much to say for over an hour at a time call. what few friends i have they mean the world to me......