In a Mood
what brought this on? well i don't know. i like living here alone i do, but all of a sudden i've been feeling quite lonely. i guess i'm not as strong as i'd like to think i am. then on top of it i have these financial worries that i completely missed. like the fact that if i'm not in school in the summer i won't have any loan money to live off. and now this man i have been speaking with has totally blown me off. without a word. it;s like WTF???? i know i'm not a supermodel but i'm not totally unattractive either. it just makes me feel like shit. the man is in his late 40s and doesnt have the decency to say at the very least, nice knowin ya?? no we didn't hook up or anything. yea we met through one of those damn matchmaking things which i ain't doin anymore. i mean what's the point? i barely know a soul here anyway and i need to concentrate on school. i so happen to be on break and would have liked to meet some people, hang out, whatever. i'm not good at the socializing thing. i can't seem to get into groups or clubs. i am not outgoing like that. so i joined one of those personal things. dummy me. oh and to boot the electricity goes out on the entire island. no lights, no heat no nothin. boy that was weird but i brought out the many blankets i have. so, do i write a nice or nasty email to this guy and tell him to fuck off or ask wTF happened? probably neither right? why should i even care? i dont' know. it's just hard being alone down here. i know i'll get over it in a few days but it just irks the hell outta me. i was going to call this place i was going to hopefully work for but i am going out of town again for the last two weeks of december, so it would be pointless to start and then not be able to work for two weeks. doesn't look good. i just don't want to lose the opportunity. i guess i'll find out when i contact them beginning of january. god i hope i can get it, i DO not want to be asking "do you want fries with that" or "do you want to upsize your meal>?"
god am i doing the right thing.......
2 comments:
"i like living here alone i do"....sounds like Yoda speaking.
What's up with you and these matchmaking personals for christsakes? Stop that shit.
Don't send out any nasty e-mails. They'll always come back to bite you in the ass.
...come to think of it, I'd bite you in the ass....
Is my grasshoppa ovulating? lol
I don't know...let me think of some words of wisdom...lol...in case you're not.
Keep doing the personal ads and meeting people. With people in general, men included there will always be disappointment and rejection. Sometimes more so than the good, but that is to be expected.
If this guy didn't have the decency to explain his disappearance he is NOT worth it -thank God or whomever/whatever that you didn't have much time invested in the relationship. You know that something similar just happened to me. I got tired of wondering why and was it me..and just said fuck it. Eventually you will realize, he's the idiot, he made the choice and the reason doesn't matter.
As for a job, get started fresh after the New Year. I know it's hard, but stop worrying and procrastinating and do what you need to Do at the time and don't worry until the time comes.
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