Wow I'm still here

Sadly though, nothing exciting to report.

Still no full time job.

A few interviews, but then nothing.

I am not sure what I am doing wrong.

My boyfriend is hounding me that I'm not looking for a job. He seems to think I should just walk into McDonald's or Walmart and have a job. I am resisting doing either but I may just have to. He wants me to work 5 minutes away. Don't we ALL want to work 5 minutes away from home!! He does so he seems to think it is easy to find work within a 5 minute radius. Sure I don't want to drive into the City of Atlanta. But I am not getting any hits anywhere else.

I've been dragging my feet on putting my portfolio together and that hasn't helped in the photography area. I have sent several emails out to studios close by and only two responded. One doesn't have a studio so that's out, but she did say she sometimes needs an assistant.

I've just been depressed. I have some health issues that hopefully will be diagnosed and treated. If I can't handle this job hunting business Im not sure how I will handle a serious illness, especially without a job.

Other than that, I did join a photography club in my area. I don't want to travel to the city yet for the Atlanta one. The people are great, and I met the guy (only one of two contracted) who photographs for the CDC (Center for Disease Control). I didn't tell him I was looking for work, but I told one of the group leaders. I was like wow, not that it's a huge deal, but it's big enough in my world. He seemed kinda grumpy so I just kept conversation to a minimum.

My problem: I am socially inept. I have a huge fear of making a fool out of myself. I am not good at small talk or even big talk. Takes me a long time to let my guard down around people I dont know. So when I'm trying to "sell myself" as they say, I'm not good at it at in the least bit. I dont' schmooze or ass kiss. I can't relax enough to be myself. So I'm stuck. I know it's practice like anything else, but I'm stuck in this mud at the moment and it's not helping.

Anyway, we have crops in, but they are kinda puny. There's not much yet besides the bell peppers. They are doing so well. The tomatos are there but not many are red yet. He has apparently killed half the crop with over watering. I don't know. The corn is puny but boy is it tasty! THe okra is great too, as is the zucchini.

Now all we need to do is catch rabbits and we won't have to go to the store for much!

I am about to visit y'all for a brief moment as I try to do more job searching!